Taken

In my house, in my home, the one place where I chose to call my safe haven, where I go to peel back the layers of my "center stage" face... In my home... Is where you chose to rob me of my right to say no, rob me of my womenhood... At home, with the same sheets I used to comfort me, you decided to hold my legs open and force your dick in my pussy, I bit you, I screamed for you to stop...you didn't get it then? I cried, kicked, punched, I begged you to stop... You didn't get it then? How many ways can someone say NO?  Shattered, broken, hurt, scared, is he gonna kill me after?? Maybe I deserve this, it hurts, I'm numb, maybe if i imagine it's someone else, I can cope, open my eyes and it's still a perfect stranger fucking me...I'm changing. You took my "NO"away from me in all of its forms. My strength, my power, laid there with my body, as I stopped fighting... You. I lost. You got what you came for, not sex, but power. You took mine and gained... Did no one hear me scream? I say I don't remember because I don't but these dreams are clear as day... You forced yourself into my house as I unlocked the door... You punched me in my back, put your hands over my mouth and told me to shut up, and take it. You stink. No soul in your eyes... Locked under your weight.... I lose... Surrounded by the very things that once comforted me, you robbed me of my womanhood. You just took it... No amount of jail time can give it back....

I should have took a different route home... 

I think I noticed him follow me in...

What did I do to make him feel like I wanted him??

I want my power back... "Hypersexual activity is common after" She said. I don't want no one touching me... Can't sleep in this house without seeing what you left behind. Maybe if I smile more, pretend to be normal, maybe it will become real... Just gotta make sure i unlock the door to my house, looking over my shoulder.

BreakDown

I've reached it!!!!! my breaking point, my climax...

What was it? my mind cant help but wonder. What was it about me that wasn't enough? what? was it my pussy? was it not tight enough? No, that cant be right....judging by the intensity of your nut. you had nut all over the walls, sheets and my hair... i doubt it was that, my pussy hugged your dick so tight it border line suffocated it...it wasn't my pussy.
So what could it have been? hmm? did i gain to much weight after the birth of our twins?
the birth that took place in your absence because your mental dick was preoccupied with the gyrating of some bitches ass at the club.
I needed you, We needed you!!!! but clearly, matters of the penis took precedence over the birth of your first born(s)

In a constant lachrymosel state, its evidence flowing down my cheek in hopes of releasing me from this emotional captivity.
heart bounded, desperate, begging to escape this emotional imprisonment in which you confined me to. this prison filled with lies, deceit, manipulation; had me thinking everything was good. people warned me about you, but you blinded me with love so all i could do was love you, until i saw me in her, the way she loved you, kissed you, looked at you, she was there for you the way, only I thought i could be there for you. Kneeling humbly at your feet as though you were her god she looks pathetic, and I saw my reflection in her eyes.

Enraged, i was ready to beat her face into the concrete floor and scatter her teeth about the curb on your driveway, but i saw too much of my flaws in her eyes and i couldn't do it. absent giving birth to your children, we suffer the same infliction. she too is a prisoner here and i hate her for it, but I'm grateful for her presence because it was the beginning of an eye opening journey.

when a women loves, she loves hard, she will go to the ends of the earth for a man, this is something you knew, so you robbed me of my choice to love you by pretending to be the man I looked for. that was one of your many tricks right? meet girl, and figure out what the ex did wrong, and BE the solution. well the jig is up. six years later, I'm still here, with nothing to show for it but my kids and a battered heart, but i cant give you all the credit... I should have known better, I could have prevented this by walking away, God knows he gave me so many chances to do it but i stayed, like a fucking idiot.... hopelessly in love with the hope of being a beautiful family that feared God, and loved each other to no end.

JUST FRIENDS

Too much of us good women are being "turned bad" because we are self-inflicting heart break on ourselves, while there is an exception to every rule, nine times out of ten, we know exactly what we are getting into with a man before we get into it. You know that feeling you get in your gut (that space between your umbilicus and your pelvis giving you a sudden urge to either defecate or experience projectile emesis) you should never ignore that feeling. When you’re in the “getting to know each other” phase, he tells you exactly what he wants; “I’m not ready for a relationship right now”  “I’m just chilling right now” “I’m in a relationship, but…” “I’m married, but…” whether  they are telling you the truth or not, is always the hardest thing to decipher, this is why it is imperative that you know your role.

If you are dealing with a man and you are not his girlfriend, but you act like his girl and he acts like your  his girl behind closed doors…understand the only way out of that situation is to stop going behind that door, say something, and if his response doesn’t  correlate to how you feel, you have 2 options…1. stay in your situation THINKING your poompoom will change his mind EVENTUALLY or 2. Put your foot down, tell him what you want, you have been giving him your prize possession for however long, the least he can do is listen, ( should he give you a hard time there…you already know, he shouldn’t be worth your time,) and if he doesn’t want what you want…you’re going to end up  heart broken and bitter or heartbroken and pissed either way your heart broken, cause no matter how tough we are on the exterior, our interior is easily annihilated by the man we gave ourselves to who does not want us in the same way we want them…everything you ever done for him all of a sudden seems futile.

Know your role and play your role, if your just friends…be JUST friends.